hello, spring!

So.. it's March. I'm not exactly sure how that happened. The days have been whipping by.

Life has been the same: work, school, social life (a relatively successful one at that!). Because it was winter, there was also some cross country skiing. Not much running.

I got to the point where I was so frustrated with myself over my laziness, that I signed up for the Pittsburgh Marathon (it was the plan anyways) and hired miss Jennie Hansen as my run coach. Better late than never!

That, combined with the (finally) melting snow has prompted actual training miles! Real, outdoor runs! Shorts! New outfits! New sneakers! The return of the joy of staying active!

I would say I'm working out 6 days a week, with Tuesdays off (because I have class), bike rides Thursday and Saturday, and runs the other 4 days. It's good, exciting, and consistent, and hopefully it will keep me from overdoing it. I'm confident that Jennie will get me to the starting line in Pittsburgh (which is in less than 2 months) ready to run 26 miles, and then after that, we can focus on a fall PR/BQ attempt. That's the plan anyways!

I also have a few other races scattered in there: the Seneca7, the Flower City Half Marathon, the Shoreline Half Marathon, and the Rochester Half-Marathon. A currently undecided fall marathon. Probably looking at a PR attempt at the Roc half if all goes well.

One weird thing that has been happening is I've had some major exhaustion going on. Back in Feb., I worked a week of overnights, and then John and I traveled to VT that weekend, and then I ended up getting sick the following week. The fatigue that came with the sickness persisted even after my nasty cold went away, and after a while, I stopped believing that it was caused by the aftermath of the nights/sickness combination. I know I have a lot going on in my life, but it's been this way since 2013 and I've always managed to stay healthy and on my game. I successfully trained for 3 Ironmans while working a shift rotation, I've made it through 2 marathon years while simultaneously in grad. school and working full time. Doing a lot in a day isn't a new concept for me. I like going to bed knowing that I've accomplished things at my job, intellectually, and physically. However (and this is where things get weird).. insomnia is my baseline. I've had trouble sleeping my entire life - it's the norm for me and although it got really bad a few years ago during the job with the shifts, it's since gotten manageable again (with the help of medication and sleep doctors and whatnot). So, when I started passing out at night within 30 seconds of crawling into bed while being seriously cuddled by my boyfriend (and I am a strict *don't touch me while I'm sleeping* kind of person), I started to think that something was up.

I ended up getting blood work done and found out that I am Vitamin D deficient. NBD right? Everyone in the Northeast is probably Vitamin D deficient. A lot of times you don't even know. However, I have been having symptoms like crazy, which is what prompted the blood test, which prompted a prescription for a giant weekly dose of Vitamin D.. for the next 3 months! I'm hoping it helps. It's hard to live a busy life (of things you want to do) when your body is telling you to go to bed at 8 pm and not get up until 8 am. Sorry.. not possible. Most nights I don't even get to my homework until after 8 pm!

The good news is that there is a solution, that I love my life and want to keep going the way that I have been going, and am excited to get my energy levels back up! I have too many things to accomplish to slow down now!

Ready for a New Year.

I want to preface this entry by the following, which I think deserves to be at the beginning, rather than the end, of this post:

I am looking forward to the start of a new year. 2014 has been hard. I don't want to recap it. The good things that happened (and there were many good things) simply do not outweigh the bad things and the loss that myself and my family went through. It it what it is and it happened, but I want to just keep moving forward. I don't think I set any New Years Resolutions last year, especially since my life was in such turmoil at the beginning of the year. I am working on being kinder to all members of the human race (including myself), to love myself and know my worth, to love others, to make sure I keep my heart open, to forgive, and to remember that all life is precious and worthwhile and not to be taken for granted.

With what was undoubtedly the hardest year of my life ending, and my 31st birthday quickly approaching, I am met with trepidation for the future. 31 trips around the sun doesn't seem like much, but it means that I will be firmly planted "in my 30s" and trying to celebrate my birthday while mourning the year anniversary of my mother's passing. I am trying to stay optimistic but that date is going to be a tough one to face. Thank god I am not facing it alone.

I have some truly special people in my life that have supported me this year, and there is no way that I could reach out to everyone and thank them for how they have helped me over the past 365 days. I know that I am a strong person, but I'm not sure if I could have done it alone, plus, good times and bad times are made infinitely better with loved ones. To name a few individuals/groups of people who are very dear to my heart:

my family (my dad, my brother, and the rest of the Hardings) who I know are by my side no matter what happens.

my dear friend Kerry, her husband, Joe, and her mother, Kathy, who drove all the way to the hospital last year to be with me on my birthday. it meant so much to me to have you there.

John - whom I am incredibly grateful to have in my life. I have the pleasure of having you as both a friend and a boyfriend and I am looking forward to what this year brings (first and foremost - Harry Potter in Orlando!).

my Rochester family (Mary, the Walters, the Adams, the Hansens, Kemily, Solveig, all former Train-This members, the list goes on) who have always supported me athletically (through running, cycling, swimming, triathlon, skiing, summer biathlon, cyclocross, etc), since we all know that exercise is the best medicine.

my OCD family (especially B642) who makes me not mind going to work every day and who collectively form the best lunch table ever.

my far away friends (which includes all of my friends who I am separated from due to distance - Jessie, Lindsay, Denise, etc.) who have been my text message lifeline throughout the year.

last but certainly not least, my mom, who is in my heart and thoughts every day.

Everyone that sent me a text, tweet, Facebook message or post, email or card when my mom was sick.. I thank you all so much. I know this is long overdue. And everyone who supported me with the marathon, my classes, helping me with my house, and spent time with me, even if it was just a hug, I so appreciate it.

Keep on living fiercely, my friends.

I love you all.

Happy 2015.

What's next?

The off-season has been treating me well. I have been busy between work, class, friends, being in a relationship, and everything else that life brings. I have been sporadically doing workouts when I can and am motivated. I was not feeling too great after the marathon. I really put a lot of stress on my knee during the race, so I took a while off (a month?) afterwards. When I started running again, I was still having some knee pain. I wasn't into racing cyclocross this year due to being so out of shape (for cycling), so I did 5 races and called it quits for the year. I miss it, but I want to tackle it head on next year with some cycling fitness. Also, it does get expensive racing every weekend for 2+ months so the money savings was an added bonus.

I still haven't figured out what I am doing next year. School really throws a wrench into my training and unfortunately, it IS the priority right now (it's f-ing expensive). I have a love/hate relationship with grad school. I LOVE learning, I love going to class, I love feeling like I am challenging myself, I love meeting fellow stats nerds, I love that I am working towards a career that I want. I don't love the enormous amounts of stress (both external and internal) to get work done, get good grades, and make time for everything else. I was a bit of a shut-in in college (my best friends were all also biology majors - coincidence?) because being a good student and getting that 4.0 was so important to me. (I missed a 4.0 in undergrad by 0.02.. one B). It's still very important to me, but obviously, I can't do that now. I have a job that I need to be focused on, a Green Belt project at work which is going to require additional time commitments, and other life commitments that I never had when I was younger. Time management and having an ongoing balancing act is not something I'm great at.. but I am working on it.

The next few weeks as I round out the end of the semester are going to be crunch time. I've already (nicely) informed John that our time together is going to have to include my laptop and my current textbook. He gets it. The less stressed I am, the more pleasant I am to be around.

As for races, I am planning on Fleet Feet's 4 Season Challenge (if I can ever scrape up the $250 registration fee), and the Seneca7. Those are the only things that I have really decided on. John has already registered for the 4SC. He's also doing Syracuse 70.3 and IMLP next year. I am hoping to do a lot(some?) of his IM training with him (mostly for my own benefit). I would love to get back into triathlons. It's been over 2 years.. I needed a break, both physically and mentally. Now, I am not sure if I have the time that I need to train to get back to the level that I was at. It's important to me to race to my abilities (ESPECIALLY in triathlons b/c that is my "thing"). He's convinced he can get me back out there. I'm not so sure yet..

I'm not too worried about next year. I know I can do whatever I need to do. I am mostly just trying to swallow the reality of this past year.

I have been on this planet for 30 years (almost 31) and I can say, with certainty, that 2014 has been the most emotional, devastating, and hard year of my life. I still don't think I have fully processed the loss of my mom in January. Sometimes I actually forget that she's gone. I still expect her to answer the phone when I call home, or to be cooking Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. And then it comes rushing back to me and I go from being completely fine to a crying mess in 5 seconds. Which makes me feel guilty about planning for the future, or being worried about things that are going on right now. It's a lot of emotion and I don't know how to manage it yet.

This whole post has unraveled now. This is exactly what happens. I start out fine and then I think about my mom and I just completely lose it and end up crying on my couch for 3 hours.

Cyclocross Season has BEGUN!!

My life has been a whirlwind lately!

Get ready for a long post and a litany of photos!

I managed to get through the Rochester Marathon and subsequent recovery period.. actually, more than get through it - I enjoyed it, did well, placed in my AG, got sick, stayed sick for a week, took an exam, recovered, got an A on my exam, and haven't run a step since the race. In the week after the marathon, I was able to make my house even messier than it was before hand, make plans for and miss seeing a movie twice due to scheduling conflicts, ride my bike to and cheer at the McQuaid Invitational, and go camping for a night at Fair Haven State Park with John and his family.

I will admit, we are pretty cute. *barf*

I debuted as a CAT3 cyclocross racer (I upgraded last year and then stopped racing for the season to focus on my class: Statistical Software AKA the worst class I've ever taken in my entire life) at Webster Park CX exactly 7 days after the Rochester Marathon. In hindsight, this was not the brightest move I've ever made, but I was dying to get out there on my bike, so I did it. My body felt ok after a good 3 days of can't-move-my-legs-hell, (although I did survive a ride on Wednesday in Bay Park West with my friend Rich), but I was sick with a cold that was bound and determined to hang on, and apparently, my legs had *not* recovered. I did not race well, and I felt like I had absolutely nothing in the tank from the get-go. I was disappointed and underwhelmed with how I raced. I know that the podium is no longer going to be a regular (or possibly ever) thing for me anymore after upgrading, and I'm fine with that, but I want to at least be in the mix with the other women. Not riding alone off the back for 45 minutes wishing the race was over. I started worrying about trying to race both Sat/Sun the following weekend on a world class course that I had no idea about, with over 100 women in my field, and having to drive all the way to Providence, RI to do that.

getting ready to start at Webster CX

feelin' the pain (photo by Lee Barber)

rare photo of a flying mount in action!

day before departure - bike ride with John!

Fast forward one week. I was feeling fine again (sickness finally went away), my bike had gotten a tune up, and I had done a few bike rides (another BPW ride with Rich and a road ride on my poor, underused triathlon bike with John). I packed up all of my stuff and hit the road on Friday morning, destination: Rhode Island. I've never been to Rhode Island before and the drive wasn't too bad. Mostly I-90 but with the trees turning, it wasn't too awful. I arrived a few hours earlier than my dad and brother (my dad was driving to Brooklyn to pick up Grant and then they were heading up as well, as my brother also races 'cross). It would be the first time we've ever been at a race together! I hung out in the hotel room, catching up on some TV from the week and working on my homework assignment a bit. When they finally showed up, we walked to the restaurant next door for dinner and then we all went to bed.

double flyover

We were up early on Saturday morning (6-ish) because we had to find the park, park the cars, register, and Grant needed to pre-ride the course because he was the first race which started at 8. Can I just say that I have never seen my brother get up before 6 am. He is known for sleeping through races. I was majorly impressed (also, because I set my alarm wrong, I woke up 3 minutes before we were supposed to leave). My race was at 9:50. We did all of that and got some laps in on the wet grass. There were some obstacles I have never seen before including 2 (later, 3) "flyovers" and a jump. The double flyover was a pair of wooden platforms with ramps connecting the platform to the ground on either side. They were side by side (hence the "double" flyover) and you crossed them going in different directions. For the first flyover you ran up the ramp, mounted on top, rode down the other side, and then kept going down a steep, muddy hill. For the second flyover, you ran up a set of constructed stairs, then a short section of grass/mud, then up the flyover ramp, where you mounted on top and rode down the other side into a turn. The 3rd flyover was added after Grant's race and it was a less steep but higher platform with ramps that were actually rideable (the double flyovers were NOT rideable - at least up them, which I found out by trying to ride and subsequently crashing on in my practice lap). There was also a jump which was rideable and you only caught air if you hit it going quickly. There was a set of double barriers (very typical for a 'cross race) and on day 2, a small set of stairs that they added. Otherwise, the course was flowy & very rideable with a few short climbs but nothing absolutely demoralizing.

this is what I did to myself trying to ride the
dumb flyover. Grant told me if I "just committed"
I would make it up and over. FALSE. NOW
I'M GOING TO HAVE A SCAR FOREVER, GRANT

a ridiculous photo of Grant pinning my
number & us wearing matching skinsuits

Grant raced in a huge field of Cat 4/5 men. I can't comment much on his race because I was merely a spectator, but my dad and I caught him at several different points on the course, cheering and taking photos/video. He also had a Shimano camera which mounted on his handlebars (much like a Go Pro camera) so he was videoing his own ride. After he finished, we switched the camera to my bike, and I got in another lap before the 2nd race of the day which allowed me to become a little more comfortable with the flyovers and actually ride the 3rd one which they added in after Grant's race. Then I had to go down to the start to be "staged" because my race had over 100 women in it. I don't think I have *ever* ridden in a field more than 20 (if that) so "staging" in WNY is nonexistent really. You're either in the first row or the 2nd row. I might have been in the 8th row? Who knows. The started at rider 501 and staged by number: I was 573 and was approximately in the middle of the field at the start.

Grant in action!

waiting to be staged and apparently
I look like The Terminator here

me staging

What was awesome is that in my row of women at the start, 2 of them were local Rochester women that I see at all of the cyclocross races around here! I got my dad to take a photo of us before the race started!

CX WOMEN OF ROCHESTER!!!
me (Ride Brooklyn), Anne (Park Ave Bike Shop), Kelly (Mac5Bikes)

The start was insanity. I'm never good at the holeshot anyways so I was stuck behind a giant traffic jam of women trying to all squeeze onto a tiny 'cross course. Once I got going, it was a little strange riding in a group of so many women - going around corners and such. The first flyover was nuts. There were probably at least 20 women all on the thing at the same time - either running up it, getting on their bikes at the top, or riding down the other side. I made it through (with some screaming most likely) and the pack eventually started to thin out. I was riding pretty well with a group of women but it was very exciting/scary and I managed to run right into one of the stakes holding up the tape on the side of the course. Went down. Got back up and finished my first loop, also caught back up with that pack of women. 2nd loop, I did THE SAME THING. Ok. This is starting to get ridiculous. Caught BACK up when I then crashed a lot harder going up a hill. Luckily none of these crashes really hurt, they're just annoying. I ended up settling in behind a local Rochester woman, Kelly, and finished right behind her with no more "incidents." I wound up 66/115 women in the Cat 3/4 field.

this was partway through the first lap, on the first obstacle.
sheer insanity. you can actually see me at the top in the center.
pulled this off of the @providencecross twitter feed!

not sure how I made it down in one piece and upright with
NEITHER OF MY FEET ON THE PEDALS

typical 'cross shot!

Here is the youtube video of the W 3/4 field as seen from my perspective. Includes: 3 crashes, some screaming, some narration, some apologizing to women I ran into, and NO profanity (I think)!

After that, we went back to the hotel, cleaned up, got lunch, and headed to Newport, RI where we toured the Vanderbilt Mansion (The Breakers), bought an Alex and Ani bicycle charm bracelet, checked out this mysterious tower that is in Newport which no one knows how it got there, talked to a crazy dude about the tower, walked down to the water so that I could buy salt water taffy and fudge, got a drink, and then drove back to Providence in the rain for dinner.

my very appropriate and lovely Alex & Ani!

the mysterious tower of Newport, RI

Grant and I in front of the tower

Sunday morning was a repeat of Saturday morning but a bit smoother. I woke up tired, sore, bruised, etc. I knew I would have trouble getting on the course after the races started, so I did 2 preview laps before Grant's race instead of one. It had rained for most of the afternoon on Saturday and I was hoping that the course wouldn't be too muddy, which it wasn't, plus the sun came out which I'm sure helped. They had added 3 small stairs in at an uphill corner so that was an extra place that you had to dismount and remount. Otherwise, the course remained the same as the previous day. Grant raced; he was doing great but then had a saddle malfunction where he lost a bunch of places. We did the camera handoff, I staged, and I was off. No crashes on day #2 AND I started to get a bit bolder with the flyovers (I had a really hard time doing a rolling mount on the top of one of those things, so typically I would stop, get a foot clipped in, and then push off down the ramp, which took a LOT of time). I started just going down without being clipped in.. and I survived! We did an extra lap on Sunday (4 vs. 3 on Saturday). I finished 64/110. We then hit up the food trucks in the middle of the course, I bought a t-shirt and a long-sleeved jersey to commemorate my great weekend, and then headed back to Rochester.

Grant!

barrier shot

I ran up a flyover 14 times in 2 days (not counting warmup laps!)

It was a great weekend! I got to spend time with my family, race a great course with my brother, I placed respectively (at least I think so) and felt confident on the course, and most importantly, had fun!

this is called "Harding style" according to Grant

family photo in Newport!

Up next: Ellison Park Cyclocross Festival here in Rochester, NY!!

Rochester Marathon Race Report

To preface this race report, I want to say that when I originally signed up for a fall marathon (at first, the ADK Marathon which I then switched to the Rochester Marathon) I was ready to put in the work and try for a BQ (3:35). I trained aggressively and very well for 12 weeks, and then developed runner's knee. At that point, I tried to do my best while not further aggravating my knee, which was hard. Sometimes I could run fine and other times it really hurt. I had to cut long runs down, cut out all speed work, and I really lost a lot of motivation for the following 5 weeks up to the race. Even the day before the race, I was unclear of how the race would play out or what I would be able to do. I was tentatively looking at running an 8:30 pace and trying to run around a 3:45 marathon. I was upset about this because I really wanted to try for the BQ, but I also didn't want to risk hurting my knee any more. It was annoying and I probably had the conversation 15 times with John about what I was going to do on race day (which I'm sure he loved).

Fast forward to race morning.

John and I before the race

My dad had come up on Saturday so we spent the day doing non-race things (lunch, I bought a new mattress, etc). John came over at about 4:30 and we cooked dinner for the 3 of us, and then my dad and I watched a movie. I went to bed at around 10:30. My alarm went off at 5:00 am on Sunday (one of the nice things about the race starting 10 minutes from your house) and I was up at 5:30 to shower, make coffee, and eat a bagel. John picked my dad and I up at 6:30 and we headed over to High Falls. I hit the porta potty twice and then handed my stuff over to John, got some hugs, and made my way into the herd of marathoners. I was talking to my friend Debbie when I happened to see the 3:30 pace group (which was the finish time I was originally hoping for to give me 5 minutes of "buffer"). At that time, I decided "f-it, I'm going to see what happens" and went over by them. Spoke with my Ironman buddy, Kenny, at the start, and then we were off!

The first 9 or so miles of the course are down East Avenue. I managed to stick with the pace group, which was quite large, with relative ease and with no knee pain. I even ducked into the woods/bushes a few miles in to pee (record speed there too) and caught back up without a problem. I saw my friends Andy and Brett on bikes on East Ave. I saw John and my dad at about mile 5 or 6 (can't remember) and I waved!

I heard them from the other side of the road!

I like this blurry shot on East Ave.

Once we got onto the canal path, it got a little harder. I hate the unpaved section which goes for a while. Chris, the pace leader, was great! Talked enough to be entertaining/funny, but not so much that he was obnoxious (I've had *that* guy and I eventually had to exit the pace group - not that I am slamming on *anyone* that offers to be a pace leader, but I tend to be easily annoyed in large packs of chatty people anyways). I saw my dad and John at mile 11. We hit 13 miles right on pace and I remember thinking, "this is where the work begins" however it still seemed to be going ok, although my knee was starting to bug me. I can't remember at what point it started raining but it was a relief, as I was starting to get pretty hot. It was humid and I didn't think the aid stations were close enough together, so I was pretty hot and thirsty, especially on the canal path. The weather was weird; it would rain pretty hard, and then stop and heat up, and then rain again, etc. The weather situation was kind of a blur and it didn't really bother me, except for my shoes getting wet, which is never enjoyable.

canal path running!

sadly I did not see this when I was running

From miles 13 to 19, I hung right on Chris's shoulder because I knew if I fell back, I would be done. The pace group slowly was dropping people but I was determined. I was also questioning my ability to make smart decisions, because marathoning is not always a fun way to spend 3-4 hours. Why am I doing this? I could be in bed right now. This hurts. Why don't I have a *normal* hobby? I want to sit down. I saw Marty and Linda at Schoen Place, John and my dad at mile 17, and then Jennie at mile 19 where she yelled "stick with the group!" (Sorry Jennie, I died RIGHT after I saw you!). I kept the 3:30 group in sight for a while and then slowly kept falling back. I thought for a while I still might squeak in under the 3:35 BQ time but it became pretty apparent that I was running out of steam. Fellow triathlete Kirsten was out there running with her friend, and I tried pacing off of them for a while, but couldn't keep up (her friend went on to run a 3:33!). I was chugging cups of water at every aid station (and walking them) and my quads were screaming, but once I hit Genesee Valley Park I knew I was close! I saw my dad and John again at mile 22 where I was basically alone, dodging some half marathon walkers. I was pretty miserable at that point but managed a smile for them. The river trail is the worst part of the marathon course in my opinion (it's hilly-ish, rooty, and has a lot of people going slow that need to be dodged) but I got a bit of a second wind through that section (I saw Ben - my ex, who was not having a great race) and then before I knew it, I was crossing the Ford Street bridge, running through Corn Hill Landing (where I got a good pick me up from seeing my friend Matt), turning onto Plymouth, and then rounding the corner at Frontier Field to finish!

in GVP!

ALMOST DONE!!!

Somehow, I managed to cross the finish line in 3:39:24 (at least that was what was texted to my phone) which is a FOURTEEN MINUTE PR. I am THRILLED. Of course, it leaves some unanswered questions. If I had chosen to run behind the 3:30 pace group a bit, would I have been able to hold on for longer without drastically slowing down? Could I have tried harder to keep up with them at mile 19? I am not good at pushing through the discomfort of a marathon. Even so, this was a huge breakthrough race for me. I put it out there and gave it a shot and even though I couldn't do it, I didn't miss it by much. AND, I got 2nd in my age group. Again, unbelievable. I know this is a small-ish marathon but that is not something I would have even considered possible. I didn't even know until I checked my facebook later and someone had posted it!

After the race, we went back to John's house, stopping for some supplies (chocolate milk, Coke, Gatorade, and ice - all for me, oh and 3(?) Pepsi Maxes for John, because he's gross) on the way. John had texted his brother to get the ice bath going so when we got there, I had to get in, no excuses. Me and 60 lbs of ice in a barrel is not exactly what I *want* to do after a marathon, but it really did help. I showered (4th best shower of my life) and changed into dry clothes while the men cooked, and the we had brunch (or as my calendar invite says - SuperMegaBreakfast) including: chocolate chip pancakes with homemade whipped cream, some weird flavored sausage and bacon (which I can't comment on because I don't eat meat), biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and scrambled eggs with asparagus that John & David's roommate, Dan, made. It was all delicious. Unfortunately, my stomach does not allow for much eating for hours following a marathon so I had: a lot of chocolate milk and one chocolate chip pancake. I know, I am pathetic.

the boys and the breakfast!

Dad and I at breakfast!

John's sister, Jennifer, and her son, Francis!

As for stats:

Gun time: 3:39:28
Net time: 3:39:24
Pace: 8:23 min/mile
76th overall
19th female
2nd F AG 30-34

Let me just say that it was *amazing* to have both John and my dad out there all day. My parents have always supported my craziness racing/sports 100%. They have come to marathons, Ironmans, half-Ironmans, cyclocross races, high school & college cross country meets, horse shows, the list goes on and on and on. I have never had a boyfriend do that for me. That John willingly played chauffeur to my dad all day so that he (and they) could see me 6 times from start to finish was awesome. I know they both had fun and I loved seeing them out there! I felt so much support from them as well as all of my other friends that I saw out there. Literally, too many to name. It was unbelievable and really is why I race. I can't believe I ever doubted my choice of this race because it was such a fantastic experience.

The day after: I am pretty sore, as to be expected. My knee is not good. I have a pinkie toe that, due to the wet shoes/socks, did not fare so well. (I will spare you the gory details, except Jennie, who got a photo text). BUT, I have a brand new king-sized mattress to flop onto tonight, an exam to take tomorrow, and then I am free from running AND homework for a whole week! (Free from running for however long I want, actually).

It's almost marathon time..

..and I don't care.

I said it.

Runner's knee has killed my BQ aspirations and all of my motivation to train as well. I have done a hodgepodge of runs/trainer rides over the past month and while I know I can run the marathon, it's not going to be impressive.

I'm going to race, I'm going to try to PR (my PR right now is not very impressive) but I'm not going to risk making my knee worse. I want to enjoy the marathon, enjoy seeing my friends/family that will be out there cheering for me. I want to celebrate Rochester and life and all that jazz, but that's it.

My fun Fall starts AFTER this race. Webster Cyclocross (my first race of 2014 AND as a CAT3 woman) is the following Sunday, so that should be interesting (I hope my legs are recovered enough to hammer them for 40 minutes!). The weekend after that, my brother, my dad, and I are all driving to Providence, RI for the KCM Cyclocross Festival that Grant and I will both be racing in (2 days), and we are bringing my dad along so that we can have a fun family trip at what will probably start to be a pretty sad time for all 3 of us. It would have been my parents' 40th wedding anniversary that weekend, and then into the holidays and then to my birthday in January which I think are all going to be hard.

John and I have a trip planned to Connecticut in November which will be nice. I'm sure I have lots of other things going on as well that I can enjoy without the marathon looming in the background (although Theory of Statistics I is ALWAYS looming, everywhere).

So while I am bummed that several months of hard work and training is not going to end the way I wanted it to, I have a lot of stuff to look forward to!

Marathon training - what's that?

I haven't posted my training weeks in a few weeks.. and that's because my training schedule has essentially blown up due to a nagging knee issue. It started whatever weekend it was that I painted my office (Week 12 of my marathon plan) - I took a misstep while running and twisted my left ankle on an uneven sidewalk during my weekly long run (it was a 12 miler - cutback week) at about 2 miles in.. I turned my large loop into a small loop intending to stop once I got back to my house (I have had many, many sprained ankles in my running days and essentially I am good to go the next day, sometimes even I can keep running on it if it's not too bad), but by the time I got back, my ankle was runnable so I kept going. By the end of the 12 miles, my right knee was feeling achy. No big deal, I figured it would just take Monday off and get back at it on Tuesday.

Wrong.

 Since then, I have had this niggle on and off, more on than off. It killed my long run the next weekend which was supposed to be 20. I did 9 on Saturday and then 10 on Sunday followed by an hour on the trainer. A lot of my midweek runs have also been replaced by trainer rides. After about a week and a half, I broke down and went to see Jennie Hansen (she's a physical therapist) and of course, runner's knee. She gave me some stretches and exercises to do to try to correct the problem in the future (tight quads, tight hip flexors - none of this is new information to me, nor is this a brand new injury that I've never had) but not much can be done now other than back off running and hope that my current fitness level can carry me through the marathon.

It was very upsetting at first. I have worked so hard and put in so much effort for this race. I executed workouts, ran in the morning, around my crazy work/school/life schedule. Did all of my long runs. Ran when I was out of town. You name it, I did it. Then this happened and threw my training plan into shambles.. which ultimately made me lose motivation. Who wants to be in the basement sweating on a trainer when they can be running outside? Not me.

I have been trying to power through and I had a bit of a breakthrough this weekend - I ran 15 miles on Monday with manageable pain levels. I was in Baltimore over the weekend for a wedding and did not have much success running - I ran Friday and Saturday with John but both days, my knee was unhappy which did not leave me feeling optimistic about trying a longer run on Monday, but I had to try. I am glad that I did it, and now I am taking it easy from here on out.

I hope that my pace goals are not ruined for the marathon but if they are, they are, and I definitely learned an important lesson.. that I need to not cross the 50 mile per week magic threshold! And that I need to do more preventative maintenance.

Anyways, just trying to make it through the race (it's in < 3 weeks) so that I can switch to cyclocross where there is no time goal and everyone is drunk anyways!

John and I on our run at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore

at the wedding!