Alexa can't sleep: the saga continues

Sleep Experiment Day 1: Ambien

Yesterday, I discovered what it's like to REALLY take Ambien. The first time I took it, I swallowed the pill without first reading the warning labels on the outside of the bottle - turns out, you're supposed to take it on an empty stomach. I had already eaten breakfast.

Anyways..

I got home from work yesterday morning at about 7:30 am. I was exhausted. I am used to taking Tylenol PM when I get home and then watching a little TV or reading a book for 30 minutes before my eyes start to get heavy. I figured I would do the same thing. I took the pill with some water (no breakfast), sat on the couch, and turned on an episode of Friends. No more than 10 minutes later I was seeing double. There were 2 Ross's and 2 Rachels on the 2 TV screens that I was looking at. Whoa. Time to go to bed.

Now let me reiterate. I don't do any kind of drugs. I barely even drink. Seeing double is NOT normal for me.

I got up to go to bed and immediately lost my balance. I am not exaggerating when I say that it was a BIG struggle to get myself down the hall, to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth, and then to my bedroom to pass out. I left a wake of destruction in my path where I knocked things off my coffee table, kitchen counter, bathroom sink, and dresser because I had to grab ahold of these things (along with the wall) in order to stay upright. I woke up covered in bruises and with a very sore funny bone.

I guess Ambien has some crazy side effects such as sleeping while: driving, talking on the phone, eating, and having sex. I don't think I did any of these things? I live alone, and I barely have any food in my house. Maybe I should check the dialed calls log on my phone.. I wonder who I would call in my sleep?!

Taking this shit is like being shot with a tranquilizer! Next time I take it I will be sure to be in my PJs and in my bed so that I don't have to move once it's in my system. I actually only slept for about 4 hours. I woke up at noon and couldn't fall back asleep. However, when I was asleep, my cell phone buzzed with a text message and it was approximately 2 inches from my head - and I slept right through it. Normally, my phone buzzing from a text while in the NEXT ROOM is enough to wake me up.

When I went to the mall yesterday afternoon to return a winter coat to L.L. Bean, I wound up in Brookstone where I bought this sound therapy system. It was kind of a spontaneous purchase and rather pricey (which I am trying to not do) but if it helps me, it will be worth the money, and if it doesn't help me, I can return it (per the Brookstone employee I talked to).

If it's not obvious, I am starting to get desperate for more than 4 hours of sleep at a time. This desperation is resulting in me taking controlled substances which I am not in favor of doing, and spending lots of my hard-earned money on an f-ing sound machine.