Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I am the fashion police

One of the more ridiculous things that I saw during the Spring Forward race was a man running in red and blue Buffalo Bills Zubaz pants. (I'm sorry, but NO ONE can possibly love the Bills THAT much..) I saw him in front of me at around the 7 mile mark and (accidentally) exclaimed out loud that there was no way in hell I was letting a man wearing Zubaz beat me. So I passed him and I am pretty sure I inspired the entire group of people around me to pass him as well. (I know this because one of those people that heard me facebook stalked friended me and told me so).

Now as a triathlete, I know that I am not setting any kind of fashion statements. I regularly wear spandex and compression socks. I often go the entire day on the weekend without showering until right before bed. I wear race shirts & yoga pants/running shorts everywhere possible. I run with a fuel belt and visor. But I draw the line at anything from the 90s.

Zubaz should have all spontaneously combusted on Y2K.

Some other things that no man should EVER wear in the year 2011 include: jorts, an earring in one ear, cotton tank tops, or any shirt that is made of mesh fabric. (For the complete list please email me at: and I'd be happy to provide it to you). If you bought in in 1982 or Wham EVER wore it, THROW IT AWAY. Burn that shit.

Onto more pressing issues..

I think that I talk about my crotch wayyyy too much.

Regardless, my 5+ hour ride on Saturday resulted in a saddle sore. I'm not sure what exactly caused it because I rode in clean tri shorts, used chamois cream, and took a shower immediately after. I was wearing tights over the shorts so perhaps the 2 layers of rubbing plus the fact that it is early in the year and I have not yet developed any resistance to bike saddle chafing is the culprit. I am slated to ride 5 hours again this Sunday with Mary (maybe if she rides her mountain bike and I ride my Cervelo equipped with my Zipps, I will be able to keep up) so I have been doing everything I can to try to heal this mess.

This = dropping $40 at Rite Aid yesterday on every type of ointment, antiseptic, and cream available in the store. My crotch is now equipped to scrub in and perform surgery. That saddle sore picked the WRONG chick to mess with. If I find a tried and true way to battle saddle sores I will post it, but right now I am just experimenting. And I will leave it at that because no one needs that mental image.


  1. LOL!!! This was an awesome post, I had to google jorts, yep, I dont or ever owned any

    I am so lucky, I only race in team kits, by fashion is already been picked out for me

  2. "guilty pleasure: I own a Snuggie"

    pot to kettle: you're black

  3. for the record: I would never leave my house with my Snuggie. and also, Zubaz are horrendous.

  4. Well, horrendous or not - they've been a very generous sponsor of our cycling team and we have some of the most recognizable kits around.

    So throw 'em a bone - they've got their hearts in the right place!

  5. the kits are fine! the hammer pants.. I just cannot get on board with!

  6. Funny post. Had to Google both Jorts AND Zubaz!!! I agree, btw!!

  7. Hilarious! I had to Google Jorts as well and thankfully I have no Jorts or Zubaz in my wardrobe.

  8. bwhahahahahahahah

  9. HAHAH!! YESSSSSSSSS! those 2 on the outside are exactly what I saw!!

  10. Oh my gosh - jorts... that's hysterical. It's kind of like manpris... I don't get those either!

    Hope the saddle sore loses the battle... you go girl!


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