no one likes a bad attitude

If I were to write this post about how I am currently feeling, it would be plagued with negative thoughts, whining, and a bad attitude. Instead I am going to try to focus on the positive aspects of today's workout because Ironman is so much a mental sport. If you have a bad attitude, you aren't going to succeed. I tend to get a very, very bad attitude when it comes to riding long because I let things affect me that shouldn't. And then, since I tend to be an emotional person and ride, race, and live my life with my heart on my sleeve, my ride is directly affected by my bad attitude.

With that said..

I had a 4 hour ride and a 30 minute run on the schedule for today. Since it is now April and the forecast was in the 40s, Kim and I decided to ride outside. I showed up at her house at 10:30 (we wanted to give it time to warm up) and a 3rd girl, Caillie (who is doing Ironman Lake Placid this year and whose boyfriend I met yesterday at the bike shop and he sent her to us) met us there to tagalong on part of our ride. We left at 11 am sharp dressed in tights, wool socks, toe covers, gloves, hats, and several layers on top. We planned to ride from Kim's house, around Canandaigua Lake, back to Kim's - about a 4:30 ride (a little longer than what was on tap). I was excited to finally be off the trainer!

It became quickly apparent that my bike fitness has a LOOOOOOOONG way to go before my Ironman which is 12 weeks away (if you missed that somehow). Climbing hills was.. interesting. Kim was destroying me. We made all of our regular stops at our regular gas stations to refuel, recaffeinate, and rest. I was doing ok for the first 3 hrs and 30 minutes of the ride. After that, my attitude went downhill. Instead of bitching, I am going to list my issues and how I am going to try to resolve them by positive thinking.

1) 3:30 into this particular route (that I ride ALL the time) is my least favorite part - riding west on routes 5&20 which is a road that goes from west of Rochester, through all the Finger Lake villages, out to who knows where it ends. At around Canandaigua, it goes up and down these really big rollers that I just HATE. I know that this part is coming and I dread it. What I need to do to get past this mental block is drive out to 5&20, leave my car, and ride up and down this road for several hours just tackling these stupid hills. If I could get past the mental block of this section of the ride I think I would be happier and mentally in a better place.

2) Kim destroyed me on this ride. Kim has always been faster than me on the bike which is fine. Everyone has good and bad days and we are usually not too far away from each other. But today, it took her all of 5 minutes to leave me in the dust, over and over and over again. This is a huge issue for me because it makes me feel like I am slow, that I suck, that I am going to get passed by 1000 people at Ironman, and that I am out of shape and won't be ready. What I fail to get through my brain is that Kim has a year more long course experience than I do, she currently is not running due to a sprained ankle so is doing WAY more volume on the bike than I am (which makes her way fitter on the bike than me), and that everybody is different. I cannot let the green-eyed monster destroy my confidence. Plus, Kim has her own issues to deal with concerning her ankle and shouldn't have to deal with giving me 50 pep talks during a ride.

3) It was windy as shit. There is nothing I can do about this. I can't control the weather. What if it's windy in Coeur D'Alene? I should use training rides like this to my advantage. It's not always 65 and sunny at Ironman!

4) I'm slow as shit. It's April 2nd. It's been a long winter on the trainer. We rode for over an hour longer than we were supposed to due to the loop we did (5:10 instead of 4:00). My fitness will return. I need to get OVER it and just focus on what I need to do in order to get in shape. I'm slow now? I have 12 weeks. Suck it up Alexa!

Race tomorrow, stay tuned!