Thursday, July 29, 2010

honesty

After I posted my race report on the team google group (it's basically a forum), a friend and teammate Matt Kellman read it and commented, "Over the past three years I've read a lot of race reports, this may be the most honest report I've ever read. I love it!"

Apparently, over the years, I have developed into the "emotional girl who wears her heart on her sleeve." I have never understood why people hide their feelings away. What good does it do? I also absolutely HATE lying. I really think I may be one of the most honest people in existence.

It bothers me to no end when people cheat, lie, steal, etc.

Case in point, when I arrived in Lake Placid on Wednesday evening, it was late, cold, raining, and my parents were hungry (I was hungry too!). I was scheduled to swim for 30 mins but I skipped it. I planned to do it on Thursday. However, I also had a bike and run scheduled for Thursday. Thursday arrived and the weather was less than ideal - it was raining. I texted Kim to see what I should do (she was driving up to Placid with my coach). They told me to drop my bike ride, because I needed to drop a workout. But then the weather turned and I wanted to make sure my bike was shifting ok, so I went for my 40 min ride and then my 20 min run. Later, I swam with Adam. Thursday night, I went to a team dinner. Mary asked me which workout I dropped. I said "none." Apparently, they had seen me riding my bike and were curious whether I'd lie about dropping a workout.

I don't lie.

I don't see the point. If I lie to my coach, how do I expect her to do her job? Seriously, if you have to lie because you are ashamed of what you are doing, then just DON'T DO IT!

I know that I am an emotional person and I have tried - and failed - to hide that about myself. It's just not worth it. I am not ashamed of the emotions I felt during the Ironman. I am not made of stone. I get upset when I cannot execute a race correctly. I get frustrated with myself when I can't live up to my expectations, but instead of hiding those feelings away, I talk.

Ask me anything.

:)

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